I’ve been a mom for 3 years now and it has been the most rewarding experience that any human being can ever have. Your life does not revolve around you anymore; you actually have this live, dependent and cute little human being to take care of physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
With these types of life changes, came this yearning, the need and desire to connect with women who were going through the same thing. It’s refreshing and a natural instinct to connect with others who can not only share stories about their children but connect on personal levels. Maybe their children will become besties, perhaps the moms can become besties too?! This is not wishful thinking. I’ve heard several moms (friends of mine and strangers) talk about how hard it is or has been to find and build friendships with other moms. Experiences like one-time playdates to failed attempts at setting up future meetups, to disaster meetup.com groups and the list goes on of negative experiences.
However, there is one thing that you must not remember with searching for the ideal mom friend (s). Never give up. Instead of thinking about or writing about finding mom friends as a challenge (in a negative tone), I’ve decided to shed light on a positive note of finding like-minded mom friends. As we mature, we get pretty stuck in our ways as to whom we want to hang out with, who we want around our kids and how or who we spend our time with. I think there’s a parallel between finding mom friends and maintaining current friendships in general. Below are a few tips that have worked for me in finding mom friends and maintaining current friendships.
Your child’s school
One of the best ways that have worked for me in finding mom friends has been at my daughter’s school. My daughter has many friends, however only a few that she really connects with and could forge a closer bond with outside of school. Your child is already familiar with his/her friends and many schools have social activities outside of school hours where parents can meet and chit chat over a quick bite, while their children are playing.
Be open to random opportunities
Finding mom friends is an art in itself, just like finding a new job, apartment, and dating. You must know that everything does not have to be perfect, but bearable. One day my daughter and I were at our local mall and there happened to be a little girl around my daughter’s age who seemed to be making silly faces at her across the room. My daughter made silly faces with her back, so I decided for us to go up and introduce ourselves. The mom and I chatted while the girls played and we hit off the conversation pretty well. We both talked about being transplants from other areas, trying to find mom friends to bond with and going back to work after staying at home for a period of time. Before we said our goodbyes, she pulled out her phone and said, “Hey, let’s keep in touch. We could setup another playdate at the park.” “Cool, I would love that,” I replied.
Sometimes friends, who don’t have children and or aren’t married, feel that things are going to change within the friendship. Now mind you, I’m not speaking for all people, just to those experiences I’ve encountered personally or have heard others share. Some may start backing off and doing less reaching out and communication than before. Friends may not invite you to certain things because they feel as though you may not be able to make it. Some friends may feel as though you will not have that much time for them as before. It’s okay to still inquire and reach out to your friends, letting them know you still enjoy their friendship and company. Inviting friends to your home for tea, ladies movie night, or a dinner at your favorite restaurant is a great way to catch up with girlfriends.
These are just some suggestions so feel free to share your thoughts, experiences or dislikes in the comment section. If some moms have actually tried some of the tips mentioned, I hope it continues to work well for you! Happy Mom networking!
Written by Evita Girón, Staff Writer #MyGirlSquad