Yes, I do realize that I inserted an “e” in the word relationships. I want to put emphasis on the root word, relate.
The simple definition means: to show or make a connection between (two or more things); to understand and like or have sympathy for someone or something; to tell (something, such as story)
The full definition means: to give an account of; to have or establish a relationship; to respond especially favorably.
What does that mean still? Why is the root word “relate” so important in how we form relationships? A lot of us are in a relationship with people that we don’t even know! We share time, events, respect, but nothing to relate to! Now I’m not saying that you aren’t friends, but the friendship has levels, DEEPER levels than you’ve probably dug into.
I really don’t like using the word relationship anymore, it’s lost its power and valuableness.
Think about all the people that you are connected to, the people you share your time and energy with. I’m not speaking of the Facebook friends you interact with daily but never go past social media. I’m talking about people with whom you breathe the same air, you’ve eaten from the same table, shared clothes, traveled with, laughed and cried with, and probably fought with. THOSE individuals, can you truly say that you understand them? That one friend that is loud and always “seeking attention”, did you know that she was neglected as a child, didn’t receive the attention she needed to help cultivate and balance her life? That one friend that seems to be jealous and not supportive of you, did you know that they struggle with insecurities of not being good enough? Nothing to do with you, but they were never celebrated in life, always felt second best.
I’m currently reading a book called The People Factor by Van Moody. OMG! It’s everything I needed in this season. The author expounds on how to build lasting relationships and how to end bad ones. I’ve been applying the exercises with my friends and the outcome has been amazing. SYNERGY means the increased effectiveness that results when two or more people or businesses work together. That’s what we want to build on, synergistic relationships, but before we do that, we have TO KNOW that person. You have to be willing to be vulnerable and open. Vulnerable with your pain and insecurities, open to express your truths towards your friend, no matter how uncomfortable. Having the ability to break down walls that could keep you all from growing in relat(e)ionship, and building together!
I’ve never been in a monogamous relationship. *gasps* Yep, my fine ass has been single for 33 years! “What is wrong with me?” I’ve asked myself, God, my mother, my girls but my question can’t get answered. That’s because it is unanswerable, it’s unquestionable. I simply have found that one completely relates to me! My outlook on romance is SO DEEP! Like, my desire is greater than a selfie, Christmas gifts, or dinner dates. I desire to be complete with my mate, get into those dark places in our lives and become each others’ light. Remind ourselves of our purpose or help each other to see our purpose. Help put each other’s worries to rest. Defend and honor. Support and trust. But BEFORE that, we must RELATE to each other. I can’t be selfish and he can’t be impatient. We can’t form a relationship individually, we will have to be willing to allow ourselves into each others’ worlds.
This generation is so afraid to trust someone that we go through life with a false sense of what it means to love somebody. “Situationships” are the norm nowadays. You have a mutual liking for one another, you share laughs, bomb sex, common interests and………….that’s it. No commitment, no pursuit, no need to cultivate anymore because we’re “comfortable”. WOMEN, be virtuous in your patience, that’s a beautiful and empowering attribute that we possess! MEN, do not ruin another man’s virtue! If she is not the one for you, let her go!
We all have the power to build a nation on strong lasting relat(e)ionships, we just have to be willing to see past the surface and truly desire to understand another individual and respect them.
Written By: Elle Renee, Staff Writer, #mygirlsquad & Founder of APrettyBiggDeal.com