You’ve seen the # floating around South African social media: Men are trash. What does it really mean and are we simply overreacting and stereotyping?
In case you needed to be reminded, a 2016 report on Victims of Crime by Statistics SA‚ found that one in every four women faced violence from within their own homes and relationships. More shocking than that is that every six hours a woman is killed by a current or former intimate partner.
#MenAreTrash has been floating around since last year and has recently come under the spotlight with gruesome stories of rape, abductions and murders that women fall victim to at the hands of the men in their lives.
We at MyGirlSquad support the movement and the dialogue that it has brought about. Follow us as we take a look at the trashy things that men do that causes us to label them as such.
Today we talk about stealthing
WHAT IS STEALTHING?
Stealthing is a practice where men secretly remove or damage condoms without their partners’ knowledge.
WHY IS IT TRASHY BEHAVIOR?
It is pretty obvious that this is trashy behavior of the highest degree but if you still needed a concrete argument as to why it is trashy behavior then think about the following. Stealthing transforms consensual sex into non-consensual sex. When a man removes a condom during sex he is opening them up to the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Something that their partner did not consent to and that the perpetrator is aware of.
WHY WOULD A MAN WANT TO PERFORM THIS TRASHY BEHAVIOR?
For most men, the reason they remove condoms – often when changing positions so their partner doesn’t notice – is because they prefer the feel of sex without wearing one. But some also do so to exert power over their partners. There is also a rising trend on social media where men brag about their conquests.
HOW DOES IT EFFECT THE SEXUAL PARTNER?
Survivors experience real harm. Emotional: having to deal with ones body autonomy being violated. Financial: possible abortion and STI treatment. Physical: this act falls under rape-adjacent and should be treated with the same severity that rape is.
WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF THIS TRASHY BEHAVIOR?
Though stealthing hasn’t been legally defined as rape in the United States or South Africa it has been tested in international courts. In what was thought to be the first case of its kind in Switzerland, an appeal court in Lausanne upheld the 12-month suspended sentence handed to a man who had stealthed. However, his original rape conviction was changed to one of defilement.
OVERALL SCORE IN TRASHY BEHAVIOR.
By Hulisani Khorombi