#mygirlsquad / Culture

I Am NOT Your Sassy Sidekick

Dear Friend,

For years you have known me, and for years I have been loyal and kind. Whenever you had an issue, I’ve been there. Whenever anyone got out of line, I stood up for you. Whenever situations got aggressive, it was me coming to your front line of defense. You brag to your friends that I’m the sassy one, even referring to me as “Ms. Thang.” You rarely even bother trying to know what actually goes on in my life because you’re always far too busy complaining to me about yours. Yesterday, after I went through something very traumatic, you called me at one in the morning. I was happy to have someone to talk to about the situation until you started to talk about your relationship problems. You even went as far as to ask me to help you spy on your boyfriend for you. All the while I’m having an anxiety attack and crying on the phone with you.

That was the final straw. After that conversation, I started to reflect on this so-called friendship.

You most likely befriended me because I have compassion in areas many people don’t. My immediate reaction to any situation is to try to understand where a person is coming from. I knew from the very beginning that you and I would never have the same struggles, your biggest fear at the moment is getting dumped and dying alone, mine is being gunned down for being the wrong color in the wrong place. Still, I accepted our differences because I have a tendency to love broken things. It seemed that over time, I’m not sure when you began to take advantage of my gentle heart and fierce protectiveness over those I love. You began to start confrontations more, knowing that I’d have your back whether you were right or wrong.You began to treat me less like a friend and more like I was your attack dog, and it took me actually needing you to be MY friend for once to even notice.

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“Real Friends”, by Kanye West via Tumblr

If you haven’t got it by now, Friend, I want to clarify things with you. I am not your attack dog, I am not your loud black friend you can hide behind when you start trouble, I am not your punchline due to your lack of personality, and I am certainly not your sidekick made to run to your side at your convenience before being tossed back into the shadows until I’m needed again. I know that your privilege makes my statement a shocking revelation. And to be honest, I don’t even blame you. I blame a system that raised you to believe that I should be honored to be on your leash. You may have had issues of your own, but you’ve always been a protected class. This same system raised women like me to think that we are supposed to protect women like you. While I am completely here for women protecting women, my loyalty has not been reciprocated – which is why I say with absolutely zero regrets, Friend, our friendship is over.

Sincerely,

Your Wake-Up Call (and now Former Friend)

Written by Tiara Letrice, Staff Writer #MyGirlSquad

“Tiara Letrice is a Staff Writer at #mygirlsquad. She enjoys hot cups of tea, modern ballet, and Quentin Tarantino

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